


Sound Sleep

by epidemic



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Fifth Year, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts Era, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, POV Third Person, Past Abuse, Sleep Deprivation, Slow Build, i'll increase the rating when it turns into smut which it will, im nowhere near done, rated for language, sixth year
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 14:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epidemic/pseuds/epidemic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has been plagued by horrifying nightmares ever since meeting Voldemort at the Ministry of Magic during fifth year. He hasn't been able to find a single cure or remedy to stop them. </p><p>But one night, while wandering the corridors, he stumbles into Malfoy who has been trying to create a very powerful, very secret elixir that has the capability to be either the Light's bane or boon. Can Harry persuade Malfoy to tell him what it is and convince him to use it for the Light side? </p><p>Even more importantly (for Harry), can Malfoy create a potion strong enough to rid Harry of his nightmares for good?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sound Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> writing this makes me love the characters more than I already did

Harry couldn't sleep again. Well, he didn't want to sleep again. He _feared_ to sleep again. His nightmares were growing more vivid and... _imaginative_. They sent shards of ice through his spine that ricocheted, piercing through his entire body. 

When he used to risk falling asleep, he would awaken in a fetal position, nails digging crescents into his calves, teeth leaving bite marks on his knees, with a full memory of what seemed like months in his own personal hell. Every. Single. Night. 

He hadn't slept in three days.

The nightmares had started near the end of fifth year, caused by Voldemort or maybe Sirius' death, most likely both. Harry couldn't care less what caused them because all he wanted was for them to stop. 

The first time it happened, he was in his four poster at Hogwarts. Ron had vigorously shaken him awake while Neville, Seamus, and Dean stood around him in worry. Ron ended up leading a trembling and sweat-soaked Harry to Professor McGonagall, who told him that it may have been a one-time thing but recommended that he practice harder at occlumency "just in case."

The second time it happened was the night directly after the first, but this time Harry awakened only to Ron's face. The amount of concern Ron held for him was endearing, but Harry didn't want to ask for help again when none could be given. 

After three, four, five nights of the same exhausting routine, Ron finally snapped and dragged Harry to the hospital wing. He demanded (respectfully, of course) that Madam Pomfrey give Harry a Potion of Dreamless Sleep, and she obliged with a bit of reluctance.

The potion didn't work. Harry had tried it the next night with bitter results. Most upsetting was the fact that Harry _expected_ it to work and then woke up having bitten his lip so hard that it split, his arms and legs cramped and sore from being tensed up all night. The nightmare, slightly worse than the last, was still clawing at his mind. 

Luckily, Ron and the other boys in Harry's dorm were still asleep. That meant that he could have these dreams without them knowing. _Good_ , he thought. He truly appreciated how much they cared for him, but he cared for them too. He couldn't live with himself if he made his friends stress just because he didn't get a good night sleep (which was an understatement, but Harry felt like that was the right way to phrase it).

This had become routine in the last few weeks before summer break began. Harry would go to bed, suffer, and then wake up and pretend he wasn't still suffering. It sounded pathetic, but that's exactly what it felt like. He had dreams akin to night terrors every night he slept, so he began to sleep less and less. And it was affecting every single aspect of his life.

Ron and Hermione knew that something was wrong. They tried helping him many times, but they thought that the main issue was grief over Sirius' death. That, too, was a devastating blow to Harry's mental stability, but he had made himself go numb to that specific pain. It was always easier to go numb. 

His grades started to slip, and his teachers were worried about him (with the exception of Snape). Harry had been face to face with the _Dark Lord_ after all. Still, they weren't allowed to alter his classwork assignments until he gave them proof that he was ill. And he wouldn't. He wanted to be _normal_. He didn't want to be treated differently than any other student, regardless of the circumstances. _He didn't fucking want this._

~

O.W.L.s were coming up soon, with a few days after them remaining before the end of the school year. That meant that there would be more homework and more strenuous class time and more stress. It was almost nice if Harry thought about it. Tests were a good distraction. But he was still exhausted every second of every day. The dark circles under his eyes were steadily becoming more prominent.

Ron and Hermione were trying so hard to help him, to make him feel better, and Harry felt so fucking guilty for causing them all of this pain and worry. They still thought that his mental instability was caused by the death of his one remaining family member, so he decided it would be best if they didn't know that the problem was something even more uncontrollable than that. There was literally _nothing_ they could do to stop his nightmares. He had tried everything in the book. In the library. Even in the god damned _restricted section_. 

It wasn't normal for nothing to work, for there not to be a single spell or potion that could help him. Other people had nightmares too, right?

When the first few weeks of this drifted into a month, Harry became desperate. He tried dropping subtle hints to some of the teachers, but they were too occupied with study sessions for upcoming exams to notice. He even considered going to Dumbledore, but he still resented him after having been ignored by him the whole year. No. He wasn't asking Dumbledore for help any time soon. 

Even the scathing remarks from Malfoy and his cronies in the corridors had no more meaning, no fuel to his fire. Did he still even have a fire? He was cold most of the time. Wow, he really needed to fucking sleep. 

~

O.W.L.s were practically here, and Harry had no shitting idea what was going on. 

"Harry? Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked with a look of concern. She always had that look when speaking to him now. Both she and Ron did. Apparently he'd been spaced out looking at his textbook for a while. 

"Yeah I'm good, thanks. Do you remember what 'Callisto' is? I can't seem to recall it." Harry thought this might be a good distraction from the original subject. 

"Bloody hell, Harry! It's only the most basic thing we've learned in astronomy!" Ron interceded. He sort of appeared out of nowhere. Or at least, Harry hadn't seen him wherever he'd jumped out from. 

"I hate to say this, but Ron's right, Harry. Callisto is one of Jupiter's main moons. It was one of the first things we learned in class. Do you remember it now?" Hermione asked softly. She was getting more and more concerned with Harry's behavior as the days passed. She knew something was wrong, something more pressing than the death of Sirius. 

In the background, Ron was muttering, "We learned an entire song to remember all the moons you bloody idiot we sang it _yesterday_."

"Oh right, sorry. It slipped my mind I guess." Harry could hardly believe he'd forgotten such a basic thing. Or maybe he could. He couldn't remember anything anymore. _How many hours of sleep do I need before my brain cells start dying? Or maybe they're already dying. Oops,_ he thought. 

"Honestly Harry it's like you're a dead man!" Ron said, not seeing the threatening look that Hermione was shooting him. "When was the last time you talked to us for longer than five minutes? When was the last time you talked to Seamus or Dean or Parvati or Luna or anyone other than us? Hell, I haven't even seen you actually sleeping in weeks! Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, you're over there in your bed playing with your wand or looking through your photo album. What is it you're not telling us?" 

"Harry, what Ron _means_ to say is that ever since Sirius' death, we've noticed you haven't been yourself. Which is definitely normal! But it's been months, and you seem to have gotten worse and worse. I know his death was very hard on you, but is there something else?" Hermione had always been more perceptive and much less blunt than Ron. Somehow she knew perfectly well how to turn a phrase. 

Harry was conflicted, as always. Should he tell them he hasn't been able to sleep because of something as petty as nightmares, and that it's been carving a hole into his brain for over a month? Or should he tell them it's just the added stress of exams coupled with leftover grief? Or maybe he could bullshit some other response like "hormones" or "emo phase." 

_Fuck it._

"Sorry, I just haven't been feeling myself lately." He thought maybe a very vague reply would make them stop asking for at least an hour. 

"Well go wank off then if it's been causing you this much trouble," Ron laughed at his amazing joke.  
"Ronald!" 

"What? He said he hadn't been 'feeling himself' lately! I mean really there's no reason to hold back, Harry. It's a completely natural thing to do. No need to be ashamed," Ron was cackling now. Hermione was trying not to strangle him. Harry was laughing along with them- it was probably something he'd usually do. 

But honestly, what was usual anymore? Every day felt like the same day over and over again. Different classes, but the same desks to stare at. Different teachers, but the same letters to copy down over and over again. 

Harry'd started spacing out again while Hermione was hitting Ron in the arm with a book to make him stop laughing. 

Hermione gave up. "But Harry we know it's more than that. We're your best friends, you know you can tell us anything. We'll do everything we can to help you, you just have to let us know." 

That was the problem. They always tried to help and to fix and to solve. Especially Hermione. And this was one thing they couldn't solve. They'd already tried and failed. He couldn't burden them with more shit than they already had to deal with. Hermione was up to her neck with studying, and Ron was being pestered by her to do the same. 

"Thanks, guys," Harry said. "I have to go. I'll meet with you guys later." 

"Where are you going?" Ron asked, still a bit red in the face from his bout of laughter. "You're not allowed out this late at night, and the corridors are being patrolled more with O.W.L.s coming up." 

"Don't worry, I'll take the map. Be back later." 

"Alright Harry, be careful," was Hermione's worried reply. 

Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak and his map and headed out of the common room. 

~ 

It was much quieter out in the corridors of the castle, and it was much colder too. It gave off an eery feeling. But Harry enjoyed it enough. He didn't have to fake any emotions, and he didn't have to try to act normal. He'd never taken into account how much he appreciated sleep until now. 

_Ah well, such is life I guess._

It was probably bad that Harry was beginning to accept that he couldn't sleep. It was probably bad that he wasn't asking for help anymore. It was probably bad that this was becoming a norm for him. Everything in his life was probably bad honestly. 

He needed to stop spacing out though. He'd forgotten to check the map for people in the hallways, and he jerked when he realized he could hear someone walking towards him. His wand was out with the tip lighted so he could see, and his cloak was only around his shoulders. 

_Shit._

"Oi! Who's there?" Harry heard from just around the corner. 

He quickly made his wand's light go out, flipped his cloak over his head, and ran for it. Where? He didn't know, but he could still hear that someone was following him. 

"Make yourself known! You're not allowed to be out of your dormitory!" So it was definitely a prefect then, Harry noted by the way the person spoke. 

He turned a sharp corner and hid in the nearest room, having to whisper a charm to unlock the door. Sighing, he locked the door back behind him and slumped down against the wall. This was too much happening in like ten minutes. Even though all he did was run maybe a few dozen meters but still. Too much. 

"Hello?" 

Harry froze. That wasn't the prefect's voice. There was someone else in the room. Holy fuck did he have the worst luck in the entire universe. He slowly stood up to leave. He'd almost opened the door when his invisibility cloak slipped down off his head again. 

The lights to the room flickered on, and Harry (or maybe just Harry's head) stood sheepishly near the door when he heard a familiar- 

"Potter?!" 

Shit. Of all the people in all the places, why was it always Malfoy that he spontaneously ran into? 

"Potter, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" Malfoy looked angry but also really suspicious like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. "And why do you only have a head?!" 

It took Harry a minute to process stuff nowadays, and this was no exception. He glanced around, noticing that he was in an abandoned classroom, and saw potions supplies, cauldrons, and half-opened textbooks scattered along the empty desks. Malfoy looked like he'd just jumped away from stirring the potion nearest him. Harry blinked a couple times before answering, "I just sort of got here."

"Well just sort of get out, then. You can't come barging into every room you see, Potthead, regardless of how many points Dumbledore will give you for it." 

_He's got a point there._

"Yeah, sorry," Harry said, looking down and seeming genuinely ashamed of himself. Malfoy scoffed at him. 

"Finally realized you can't do everything you want now, have you? Good. It's about time anyways. Is that an invisibility cloak or some half-arsed spell?" Malfoy sneered, feigning nonchalance to know the answer. 

Harry shrugged. "Cloak. Got it from my dad." 

"Not much for talking today, hm Potter? That's surprising considering your gigantic head. Seems like you'd be blabbering your "achievements" to anyone with ears as usual. Whatever, I don't care." 

Harry was listening at first, but then Malfoy started his "talking to himself bitterly about Harry Potter" routine. That's when Harry spaced out again and started thinking about the upcoming exams. He didn't really care about them, but he thought about them a lot. What would the essays be about? How many spells would he have to perfect? How many questions could he miss before he failed? How quickly would Hermione fini-

"Oi! I asked how you got in here! Have you been spying on me, Potter?!" 

Harry brought his attention back to Malfoy who appeared to have worked himself up a bit with whatever he'd been saying. 

"I wasn't spying. I was just trying to get away from that prefect out there who saw me. And I used 'alohomora' I think." Harry didn't even care that he was speaking not unkindly to Malfoy. _Malfoy._ Was this an actual conversation that they were having? Without a physical fight? 

"You're lying! I warded this room with a dozen protective spells you couldn't even imagine attempting! How in the bloody hell did you get in here?" Malfoy looked less angry and more distressed by the minute. 

"I don't know, I just used alohomora, and the door opened. Maybe you forgot to spell it or something." Harry wondered why Malfoy was so panicked, but then again he didn't really care. Granted, this was the most interesting encounter he'd had for a while, so he was sort of maybe enjoying it a tiny bit. 

"I didn't fucking 'forget,' Potter! It took half an hour to put those wards up!" Malfoy's face suddenly went white. He lowered his voice. "Did you get seen? Did anyone see you come in here? Fucking hell why is it always _you_??" 

This did, in fact, catch Harry off guard. "It was probably too dark for the prefect to have followed me all the way here, wherever this is I mean."

"'Probably,' well, I 'probably' won't be coming here anymore then." Malfoy spit venomously. "Do you even know what you've done? Of course you don't. You don't know anything! You walk around pretending you're so high and mighty just because the Dark Lord hasn't killed you yet! And fucking Dumbledore has made you his bloody pet to add in his special collection. You're not special, Harry fucking Potter, you're a mistake! You shouldn't even be alive! Get out! Now!" 

Harry, it seemed, had walked in on the wrong person at the wrong time.

**Author's Note:**

> it is 2am why am i writing a plot when all i wanted was smut 
> 
> oh well, im invested now haha
> 
> i have more free time on my hands, so expect a new chapter soon! 
> 
> kudos and comments are very appreciated!
> 
> thanks for reading!


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